Article:Chaos Chronicles - Oct. 2020 Vol I
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Fitness has always been a passion of mine. I didn't grow up playing sports, I was more of a solo gal... not sure where I fit in. I majored in Criminal Justice in college and was involved in many hands on training activities that involved team building and obstacles and I fell in love... with obstacles. A car accident and an abusive relationship sent me down into a dark depression that took me years to slowly climb out of... and it was obstacles that sparked that climb. While scrolling Facebook one day I saw an ad for a mud run near where I was living. I mentioned that I wanted to run it to my then husband who replied, "You can't do that, you aren't in shape."
Thanks to the unsupportive now ex husband, I contacted one of those annoying friends that ALWAYS bugged me to join her damn challenge groups... and I dove in. I ran that race... Not in my best shape but in better shape thanks to those damn groups. It was cold... so cold. I finished the race with hypothermia... but I finished that race. And I wanted to do it again!
I got in the best shape of my life and decided to become a competitive body builder. A divorce, closing my business, moving, a torn rotator cuff, gallbladder removal, ovary removal and come to find out ab muscles that were torn and healed wrong from that accident almost a decade ago, and then sexually assaulted in the spring of 2019... I changed my mind about body building. I didn't want to look like a bad ass.. I wanted to be a badass.
I used fitness and health to pull myself from the darkest hole I had ever been in to reshape how depression, anxiety and ptsd rules my life. It doesn't rule me , it changed me... I will never be who I was before and that is ok because now I am a warrior. I fight everyday. I will prove to the world that living with mental health is not something we suffer from it is a battle and those of us who have it... we will fight and we will win.
|Born||1983 (age 37)|